The Thanksgiving Edition
The Bird, the sides, the desserts, and the dranks! All here, all modern classics.
Attempting to approach Thanksgiving cooking through a new lens is both a gift and a curse. In the words of the great scholar Cormega, "What's understood does not have to be explained."
To eat the same five foods year after year can be comforting but also boring at the same time. I've done a turkey in the smoker, experimented with the classic sides of mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and thrown in random influences from Persian and Mexican cuisine some years—but the right spread hinges on just the right level of "mixing it up".
My preferred method of Thanksgiving cooking is designating the mains to one person, and everyone else pitches in with sides and desserts. Building your own traditions, not inviting anyone over you don't want to, whether family or friend, having a generous amount of libations, and watching the Cowboys lose are essential elements to this last Thursday in November.
The curse of writing and cooking authentically is that with Thanksgiving food you really can't budge the classic recipes. What's tried and true usually works, which makes writing these articles annually seem derivative and one note. It's all about the subtle tweaks you can make year-to-year.
Maybe next year I’ll decide that I should spatchcock or wet brine or smoke or deep-fry a turkey or that all of a sudden I DO think macaroni and cheese is a good idea at Thanksgiving or that you should be using a piping bag to make complicated hors d'oeuvres, but I doubt it.
Without further ado, here is this year's version of Thanksgiving. While I will not be in charge of turkey duties this year, I will share what I am wanting, what I am craving, and what I have the bandwidth for. It's heavy on riffs on classics, bright ways to add vegetables to the spread, and of course, the brown and beige dishes that taste the best.
I'm making most of these ahead of time so I can get a good lift on Turkey Day and then casually show up around 8 p.m. for aperitivo, natural wine, laughs, and pictures.
I'm thankful for my family, friends, and all my generous readers this year, who have come with me on this week-to-week journey since I created this six months ago.
Whether you’re attending a Friendsgiving, half-hungover from visiting with old hometown friends the night before, trying your hand at hosting, or just being incompetent and watching the mediocre football slate all day, here’s my guide to making this your best Turkey Day yet.
The Bird:
Turkey is not a daunting vessel of protein. In all actuality, it could save families and gourmands alike hundreds per year if this was a monthly fixture in everybody’s diets. Juicy, tender, and with more edible parts than the heralded whole chicken, turkey is the underrated 5-bat in a lineup—it can equally hold its own but can also be a cleanup hitter for a smaller market team.
Here are the keys to a good bird:
Seasoning.
Because of the size and thick (kind of Ashley Furniture-Leather-y) skin of the turkey, it benefits from a good seasoning at least 12 hours ahead, preferably 24. “Good seasoning” refers to both the deliciousness of it and also the abundance. You need a solid dry brine, made with kosher salt, a light sprinkling of your sweetener of choice, grated garlic, crushed fennel seed, fresh sage, and black pepper will give you that.
If the idea of using fennel seed on your turkey frightens you, trust that it’s more of a harmonious whisper than an aggressive shout. I used to be scared of anchovies, fish sauce, and high “gusto” sauces, but a little goes a long way. All the flavors will appropriately mellow as the turkey roasts, but also make your gravy and vegetables that roast alongside taste that much better. A true symphony.
2. Roasting.
The turkey takes a pretty long time to roast, which makes sense – they can be very large.
Take heed and do this at a lower temperature for longer, you get tender, well-cooked, shreddable leg and thigh meat with juicy, cooked-through breast meat– no need for an oven temperature change. 325°F for 3 ½–4 hours for the average 12–15lb turkey (likely 4–4 ½ hours for those turkeys in the 15–17lb range) works for me every time even with smokers.
Crispy Skin:
The skin is as crispy on this bird as you can expect turkey skin to be. The wings are shattering. Near the neck, it’s crunchy like a chip. The legs have parts that make a crunching sound when you snap the bits off. This skin is certainly not flabby. The trick? Buttermilk.
Resting and Carving:
This is most certainly a YMMV (your mileage may vary) section due to when you plan on eating the bird, but I let it rest on the sheet pan for 10–15 minutes or so. Then I transfer it to a wire rack set inside a sheet pan (this allows it to cool faster, stop cooking, and gives you the sheet pan with the pan drippings to make your gravy). This turkey can hang out here for up to an hour and still be hot. I would not recommend carving before it’s rested for at least 30 minutes — too hot to handle, truly.
Gravy not necessary—while tasty, a sign of a bland bird = doused in sauce.
Ingredient Checklist:
Kosher Salt
Fennel Salt
Honey
Grated Garlic
1/4 cup Sage
2 Fennel Bulbs
Black Pepper
1/4 cup Olive oil
3 Leeks
2 Large Red Onion
1/4 Stick of Butter
The (All-Important) Sides:
Sides are more fun to eat and customize your plate with than the actual turkey. Not a hot take. Not here for arguments or discourse. Here are sides I’m going to be making this year that are far from your average mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, and Parker house rolls spreads:
Kielbasa Sourdough Stuffing:
1 large loaf sourdough
¼ cup olive oil
2 pounds Kielbasa
1 bunch Lacinato kale, stems removed
8 tablespoons unsalted butter
6 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
2 large leeks
Kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper
6 celery stalks
5 large carrots
½ cup white wine or sherry vinegar
2 tablespoons finely chopped sage
2 cups bone broth
3 large eggs
½ cup finely chopped parsley
Directions:
1. Using your hands, tear bread, crust, and all, into eraser-sized pieces. Place on a baking sheet, and let sit uncovered at room temperature overnight.
2. When it comes time to make your stuffing, preheat oven to 375°F. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add kielbasa and break it into bite-sized pieces using a wooden spoon or spatula. Cook, stirring occasionally, breaking it up as it tends to want to clump together, and cook until browned and cooked through, 5–8 minutes. Add kale, if using, and season with salt and pepper. Cook, tossing occasionally, until kale is nicely wilted. Transfer kale and sausage to a large bowl (you’ll use this to mix your stuffing) and set aside.
3. Without wiping your skillet out, melt butter in the same skillet. Add celery and leeks. Season with salt and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are softened, 8–10 minutes. Add garlic and cook for a minute or two to soften. Add white wine (I love any of the Acid League vinegars), and cook for about 4 minutes. Add sage and remove from heat.
4. In a large bowl, whisk broth and eggs together until well combined. Add sauteed vegetables, toss to combine. Add bread, sausage and kale mixture, and toss again to combine, letting the egg mixture soak into the bread. Let sit a minute or two, give another toss, and repeat until all the liquid has been absorbed and evenly distributed.
5. Transfer the mixture to a baking dish or 9-by-13 pan, making sure not to pack it too tightly, don’t pack it like a blunt, more like a tube of cash in those teller-to-patron siphons that you used to use at the bank. If you feel like it, dot the top with a little more butter, making sure to pay extra attention to the corners, where the stuffing will get the crispiest.
6. Cover with foil and bake until the stuffing is sizzling at the edges and completely cooked through, 25–30 minutes. If it’s not yet time to serve, remove the stuffing from the oven and set aside. (If you are nearly ready to serve, proceed directly to the next step and continue without half-steppin’.)
7. When ready to serve, remove the foil and increase the temperature to 425°F/. Bake the stuffing until crispy, crunchy, and impossibly golden brown on top, about 20 minutes. Scatter with your garnish of choice, and serve. Hopefully, everyone is sauced.
LEFTOVERS SITUATION : The perfect leftovers. I like to reheat mine in a cast iron (or non-stick) skillet in the oven until it gets crispier than I thought possible. The microwave is fine, but it won’t crisp. It’s also good cold, out of the container–hot food is overrated shout out Kayvaan.
Garlic Pull-Apart Knots with Tons of Butta’
1 cup whole milk (room temperature)
1 large egg, beaten
1 package active dry yeast
4 cups cassava flour
1 1/2 tablespoons unflavored collagen powder
4 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter (4 ounces), cubed and softened, plus more for greasing
1/4 cup finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese (about 1 ounce), plus more for garnish
Finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, for garnish
Garlic Butter
3/4 cup unsalted butter (6 ounces)
1/3 cup garlic cloves, finely chopped
Directions:
Begin making the knots: Whisk together milk, egg, and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook attachment. Add flour, collagen, and salt; beat on low speed until a stiff dough forms, 1 to 2 minutes, stopping to scrape the sides of the bowl as needed. Gradually add softened butter, a few cubes at a time, beating on low until butter is mostly incorporated after each addition, 7 to 9 minutes total. Once all butter has been added, continue beating dough on low until smooth and elastic, 3 to 4 minutes (0 setting on your Vitamix or blender).
Transfer dough to a lightly greased large bowl; cover with plastic wrap, and let proof in a warm place until doubled in size, 1 hour and 30 minutes to 2 hours.
Make the garlic butter: Melt butter in a medium saucepan over low. Add garlic; cook, stirring often, until golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Pour butter mixture through a fine wire-mesh strainer into a medium microwavable bowl; reserve garlic and strained butter separately.
Finish making the knots: Turn dough out onto a clean work surface; cut into 30 (chode-like, sorry I had to) pieces. Then, roll each piece into an 8-inch- rope; tie each rope into a knot. Easy if you’ve ever braided someone’s hair. Roll knots in butter, letting excess butter drip off; arrange knots in an even layer in a baking pan. Add reserved garlic to remaining strained butter then set aside.
Preheat oven to 375°F. Sprinkle knots evenly with Parm, nutritional yeast also works; cover loosely with plastic wrap. Let proof in a warm place until almost doubled in size, 35 to 45 minutes. Uncover knots; bake until golden brown and an instant-read thermometer inserted in the center of knots registers 190°F (thermometer guys!), 25 to 30 minutes.
Microwave reserved garlic butter on high in 10-second intervals until just melted, 20 to 30 seconds. Brush garlic butter evenly over warm knots. Garnish with Parm and parsley. Serve warm.
Creamed Spinach Stuffed Squash:
Two Midwest-woman tits sized acorn squash, halved lengthwise and seeded
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/4 teaspoon black pepper, plus more to taste
2 10-ounce bags fresh baby spinach
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1/4 cup crème fraiche or full-fat sour cream
3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan
Directions:
Preheat oven to 425°F. Cut a thin sliver off the back side of each squash half to help it sit flat. Place squash, cavity sides up, on an aluminum foil–lined baking sheet. Drizzle evenly with oil; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast in preheated oven until just tender, about 40 minutes. Remove from oven; increase oven temperature to 475°F.
Meanwhile, heat a medium saucepan over medium-high. Add spinach, 1 handful at a time; cook, stirring often, until wilted, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer spinach to a fine wire-mesh strainer; let drain and cool for about 20 minutes. Wipe the saucepan clean. Squeeze spinach with a clean kitchen towel to remove as much liquid as possible; coarsely chop and set aside.
Scoop out about 1/4 cup squash from each roasted half, leaving cavities with a 1/4- to 1/2-inch-thick border of flesh. Finely chop scooped squash. Bring cream and chopped squash to a boil in a reserved saucepan over medium, stirring often; reduce heat to low, and simmer, stirring often, until cream is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 10 minutes. Add spinach, and cook, stirring often, until thick and creamy, 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in crème fraîche and 1/2 cup Parmesan. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Spoon evenly divided spinach mixture into squash halves; sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup Parmesan. Bake at 475°F until Parmesan is melted and beginning to brown 5 to 8 minutes. Serve immediately.
EZ-PZ Cran Sauce:
Ingredients:
12–16 ounce bag of fresh or frozen cranberries
¾ cup honey (or if you’re a huge health nut like me—1/2 cup monkfruit extract)
2–4 tablespoons fresh kumquat, orange, grapefruit, lemon or lime juice (it’s Sumo szn babi)
Kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper
Directions:
1. In a medium pot, combine half the cranberries, sweetener, *tang* juice, and a splash of water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium, and cook, stirring occasionally, until they start to break down and look a little jammy, about 3–5 minutes.
2. Add the rest of the cranberries and cook, just until they burst, another 3–5 minutes or so. Remove from heat, season with just the smallest pinch of salt and a crack of pepper. Transfer to a bowl or resealable container and chill completely.
DO AHEAD: Arguably better if made at least the night before but can be made up to 5 days ahead. Stored in a resealable container, and refrigerated.
LEFTOVERS: Do you ever wonder why canned cranberry sauce tastes so great? One—it has a shit-ton of sugar. Two—the stabilizers in the sauce give it that gelatinous texture. Follow my recipe and after a week, this will be your favorite condiment—putting it on everything from eggs, mixed with mayo, or just eaten raw with a cracker.
Pan-Fried Duck in a Roasted Honeynut Squash Boat with Sage:
First off S’co Ducks… Number one in the country, and name another college program that has seen a precipitous climb since 2000 than the glorious, mighty Oregon Ducks. With that being said, we will probably lose to Georgia again in the expanded College Football Playoff this year, as big underdogs, but I still like to puff my chest a lil’.
For the Duck:
Pre-marinate duck with hoisin sauce (soy sauce, and coconut aminos also work). Let sit overnight. Heat skillet to high and fry duck 6 minutes per side in a hot, sesame-oiled pan.
3 lbs (about 2 small) winter squash, such as acorn, butternut, honeynut, or kabocha, quartered lengthwise, seeds removed*
2 tablespoons olive oil
Kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons (or dark) brown sugar, divided
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
8 cloves garlic, well smashed
½ bunch sage (thyme, marjoram, or oregano also work)
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 275°F. Place the squash in a roasting pan or baking dish (whatever size accommodates, but a standard 2–3 quart should do the trick). Drizzle all over with olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Scatter the cut side of the squash with brown sugar, and flip the squash to make sure it’s all skin side up.
2. Tuck the garlic and sage under and around the squash and top with butter. Place in the oven (if you’re doing the turkey legs too, they go in at the same time). Roast, without touching or flipping or turning, until all the squash is impossibly tender. The garlic will be jammy (the goal), the sage will be crisp, the squash will be soft, and you will be happy.
3. Serve the squash in or out of the skins (you can eat the skin!), add seared duck, scattered with the garlic, sage, and browned-butter-and-brown-sugar business that’s pooled at the bottom of the dish.
Apple Salad with Almonds and Blue Cheese:
1 cup whole almonds
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
7 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons vinegar
1 tablespoon finely chopped shallot
Kosher salt, to taste
Black pepper, to taste
3 large Granny Smith apples
3 small heads white Belgian endive
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives
5 ounces blue cheese crumbled (about 1 cup)
Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F. Spread almonds on a small baking sheet, and bake until lightly toasted, about 10 minutes. Transfer almonds to a cutting board, and let cool. Coarsely chop, and set aside.
Meanwhile, heat olive oil and garlic cloves in a small saucepan over medium. Cook, stirring often, until garlic is golden brown, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat, and let cool for 5 minutes.
Transfer garlic to a cutting board, and transfer oil to a large serving bowl. Smash garlic into a paste using a fork, and add to bowl with oil. Whisk in vinegar and shallot. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Halve and core apples; cut apples into 1/4-inch-thick matchsticks. Add apples, endive, chives, and reserved almonds to bowl with garlic mixture; toss to combine. Garnish with blue cheese.
Dranks:
Campfire Manhattan:
2 cups Rye Whiskey
1 cup Water
1/2 cup Amaro
A dash of cinnamon
Dashes of Peychaud’s Bitters
8 marshmallows (Smash-Mallows, no sugar)
Add all ingredients to a blender (sans marshmallows). Mix, with ice. Smoke marshmallows either on a live fire—or realistically, on your stove with the gas on high for a minute.
Holiday Spritz:
1/2 cup this:
1/2 cup Gin
1/4 cup Amaro
1/4 cup Lemon Juice
2 cans of this (or sparkling wine):
A couple of orange slices
MIX!
The One Wine You Need This Holiday Season:
Ercole Barbera del Monferrato:
Ercole is made from 100% Barbera grapes grown within the Barbera del Monferrato DOC appellation area of Piedmont. Many people wax poetic about Champagne being the ultimate "food wine", and while I agree—for turkey, I will have to say, that that barbera wines offer a better depth and balance than the acidic sparkling varietal. Better yet? This wine clocks in at under 35 dollars for a liter.
Dessert:
Pumpkin Cheese-Cake Pie:
Pie Dough:
*Buy the Pre-Made Gluten-Free One* Trust me Daddi’
or
Crust:
4 cups oat flour
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup cold unsalted butter
3/4 cup beef tallow
2/3 cup ice water
Filling:
2 large eggs
1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
1/4 cup orange liqueur or brandy
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 cup coconut unsweetened evaporated milk,
2 scoops neutral flavored vanilla protein powder.
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1 1/2 teaspoons buckwheat flour
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions:
Make the pie dough
Process flour and salt in a food processor until combined, 2 to 3 pulses. Scatter butter and lard over top of flour mixture; pulse until fat pieces are the size of peas, 8 to 10 pulses. Drizzle ice water over surface of flour mixture; pulse until dough just starts to come together.
Work dough through hands. kneading very lightly just until dough holds together. Divide dough into 3 equal portions. Pat each dough portion into a disk, and wrap it in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
Turn 1 dough portion out onto a lightly floured surface. Gently roll into a 12-inch round, working from the middle of the dough outward and changing directions of the rolling pin (or sturdy hands) each time. Lift dough from the work surface after every 2 to 3 rolls, adding a tiny bit more flour as needed to prevent sticking. Arrange dough in a 9-inch pie plate, fitting dough into the bottom and up sides of pie plate without stretching. Trim dough to an even thickness around edge of pie plate, trimming edges a bit longer than the pie plate rim. Fold edges under, and finish them as you prefer.
Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 400°F . Line chilled dough in pie plate with parchment paper, allowing excess to extend slightly over edges.
Bake crust in preheated oven until edges are lightly golden and just set, 15 to 20 minutes.
Remove parchment paper and pie weights; continue baking at 400°F until crust is lightly browned on bottom, 10 to 12 minutes. Cool crust completely, about 30 minutes. (Leave oven on.)
Make the filling:
Whisk together eggs, pumpkin, liqueur, spices, 3/4 cup evaporated milk, and 3/4 cup protein powder in a large bowl until completely smooth. Place cream cheese in a medium bowl; beat with your mixer on medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute. Reduce speed to low; gradually add the remaining 1/4 cup evaporated milk and remaining 2 tablespoons sugar until well combined and smooth, about 30 seconds.
Add flour and vanilla, beating until combined, about 15 seconds. Pour pumpkin mixture into piecrust. Dollop cream cheese mixture over top. Gently swirl using a small spoon, scooping and lifting up some of the pumpkin filling to the top to help create a swirl.
Bake at 400°F for 15 minutes. With pie still in oven, reduce oven temperature to 350°F; bake at 350°F until filling is set around the edges but still just a bit jiggly in the middle, 35 to 40 minutes. Remove pie from oven, and cool for 2 hours, honestly after you serve the turkey.
For the Lazy:
Look, I don’t endorse being a slob and buying a whole pre-made Thanksgiving Kit, but if you were to go the pre-bought route I would do the following:
Popeyes Cajun Turkey:
Personally, I have never bought this turkey, nor will I ever. Yet, I like this excerpt from the Washington Post on this fast-food bird:
The bird was so tender it didn’t want to hold its shape, but we managed to wrangle it onto a platter. With a few toothpicks to pin the wings into place, and a little garnish, it looked worthy of a primo spot on a holiday table. (If you don’t mind a little subterfuge, you could hide that orange-emblazoned wrapper it arrived in and no guest would guess that you got a fast-food chain’s assist.)
And the flavor didn’t convince us otherwise: The breast meat was flavorful, with a slight hint of spice and a decent amount of salt. It was a touch dry (possibly because of the aforementioned 170 degrees), but give me a dab of gravy and it was a turkey I would have happily been served. (Shhhh — I’ve eaten far, far drier at Thanksgivings past.) The dark meat of the leg was, unsurprisingly, moister. It gave up about a cup and a half of excellent pan juice that doesn’t require defatting and that you can use to make a gravy, per instructions on the Popeyes website.
Cranberry Sauce Canned
Cornbread Stuffing from Sprouts
Cracklin Oat Bran + Pumpkin Pie Puree and a Can of Condensed Milk
Green beans + cream of mushroom + fried onions
Muscle Mac:
Prosecco+ Orange juice spritz
FLAN!
I feel strongly about this.
Melt this entire package of Smart Sweets Caramels and you get a brilliant Dulce de Leche. Mix with 6 egg yolks and beef gelatin and you get this:
Playlist of the Week:
If you’re reading this—you’re privileged. Probably prior to Thanksgiving, but the lives we live, the creature comforts we have, are unfathomable. Be thankful. Everyday. We only have 70 or so years here, live every day like it’s your last.